I’ve been told smoking sharpens your mind, relaxes you, calms you, keeps you from yelling at the kids (or spouse), tastes good with coffee, tastes better after a meal. In short, makes you feel “better”. (I always ask “better than what”?)

You don’t believe these reasons. Not really. If you did, you wouldn’t also want to quit smoking. Right? Actually you CAN have it both ways. You can believe your reasons to smoke at the same time you don’t believe them. It is the difference between ‘knowing’ something and ‘feeling’ something.

A part of you MUST believe your reasons or you would have quit smoking by now. Now may be a good time to know there are no laws that say your reason to keep smoking has to make sense. They rarely do.

In fact, 99% of the reasons you continue can easily be proven incorrect. Maybe smoking keeps you from blowing up and yelling at your spouse because you’re mouth is full of smoke, or even better, you have to go outside to smoke.

Even when you know the reason doesn’t make sense, that knowledge doesn’t always help you stop. It might just add to your frustration in the struggle to stop. Just one more reason to stop that doesn’t out-weigh the craving to continue.

It’s basically about two things. The motivation that smoking will make you feel better and the feeling that you’re trying to feel better than. That is all.

If you’re too hot, you look for ways to cool off. If you’re leg hurts you look for pain relief. If you feel bad (tired, stressed, overwhelmed, angry, lonely, whatever…) you look to feel good. If you have held the belief that smoking makes you feel good, that’s where your mind takes you.

This feeling to do something is what you probably call a craving. Many smokers have more than one type of craving going on. The ‘after you wake up’ craving might feel different than the ‘after a meal’ craving. The same principles apply.

SO, how do you change these things? I can write on and on about this (and I have on my web site) It will come down to changing the feelings, motivations and beliefs involved.

First, feeling bad needs to be looked at and helped. If it’s stress, get it managed, if it’s a bad situation, do what you can to fix it or get help.

Second, you belief that smoking helps you feel good (it’s probably the innocent mistake that smoking equals being an adult, in control, strong, capable, etc…) In truth, a cigarette is a plant leaf and chemicals wrapped in paper. The good feeling you’re anticipating from smoking is created by your mind. YOU make yourself feel better when you smoke. So it only makes sense that you can make yourself feel good by doing something that is healthy. If, your mind believes it makes you feel good.

And that’s the bottom line. The bulk of the quit smoking issue is about behavior modification – changing the way you feel. That’s why the success rate of most prescription medication and nicotine replacement (like the patch and nicotine gum) alone is so low. The only current exception is Chantix and even Pfizer, the makers of Chantix, recommend behavior modification go along with the medication.

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